Sep 24 2017

A Personal Challenge

Category: LifeRichard Crosby @ 8:19 pm

I have not used this site for a long time, so it was sitting here doing nothing, with out of date information.

I have not been sure what to do with this site, but I still have it. I would like it to be useful or maybe help someone else in some way! I have a story to share. The full story is long, and parts of it are probably boring, and I am not sure I am ready to publicly share it all, but here is the outline.

In 2009 my ex wife moved from the UK to Australia with our twins who at the time were three years old. This was incredibly painful for me, as it meant I would live on the opposite side of the world from my children. I assumed however that I would see them during regular visits to Australia and that despite the distance I would still have a good relationship with them. There is no automatic right to live and work in Australia for a non Australian, even if their children live there.

Maintaining a relationship with my children proved incredibly difficult once they moved to the other side of the world. I found that other people had different priorities, and a three year old will need a lot of encouragement to interact with someone who is not physically there with them. They were not getting that encouragement. This has resulted in me seeking court intervention on numerous occasions, and with limited success, in order that I can spend time with my children when I do visit Australia.

I have found the distance to be an almost insurmountable obstacle to my relationship with my kids, when it combines with behaviour of other people who are in a position to influence that relationship. I have therefore wanted (desperately) to live in Australia for some time now, as it seems this is the only way I would have any chance of building an ongoing relationship with the children I love so much. They are now eleven – I have missed most of eight years of their lives.

I really like Australia. I think it is a great place to live. I am law abiding, and every employer I have ever had would confirm that I am a hard worker. I think I would be a good citizen in Australia just as I am in England. I have served overseas with the British Army, on operations the Australian Army was also engaged in, to preserve and stand up for values that both countries hold dear.

It is clearly not the intention of the Australian government or people, that their border be used as a tool to separate or alienate a father from his children, even if at times that is that effect it has in practice. Sometimes, in the midst of this upsetting situation it can be hard to remember that.

I think it is important that governments and decision makers work together to make the world a fairer place, and consider the impact of laws they make.

Maybe this article will be read by someone else going through something similar and they will at least realise they are not alone.